"Hey, what's the hurry?" asked Rosalie, struggling to catch up.
"Gotta get home," Sara answered. She lowered her voice, and added, "My Levitra should be coming in the mail today, I think."
"Levitra? Isn't that one of those ED drugs?" asked Rosalie.
"You bet," said Sara. "Jerry and I are just about at our wit's end, if you know what I mean. We've tried mood music, candles, massage... the works. None of it's worked so finally we broke down and decided to buy Levitra online."
Rosalie chuckled. "Levitra... it sounds like the name of some corny old magician." She made a fist, put it to her mouth, and announced in her best circus sideshow voice, "Step right up, ladies and gentlemen... for the first time in public, the Amazing Levitra will perform his death-defying penis levitation. Remember that the Amazing Levitra has perfected these skills over twenty years. Please... do not try this at home."
"Shhhh!" begged Sara, trying hard to suppress a laugh. "Really, the whole neighborhood doesn't need to know that Jerry and I buy Levitra online. But believe me, 'Amazing Levitra' or no, we will definitely be trying this at home."
The two women crossed the parking lot together and headed toward their cars.
Rosalie said, "Yeah, well, I know you guys have been through a lot. But honestly, I didn't know you decided to buy Levitra. Has it really come to that?"
Sara stepped into her car and answered, "We figured it was worth a try. One of Jerry's friends actually recommended that we try Cialis, but we found an excellent deal for genuine Levitra online... not that fake stuff, but the real thing."
"Well, good luck," said Rosalie. "I'm sure the Amazing Levitra will come through for you."
"Thanks, I hope so," replied Sara. "I'll let you know tomorrow." She closed the car door and set off for home.
Waiting and Wondering
Driving home, Sara's mind began to wander. She couldn't help trying to conjure up this Amazing Levitra character that Rosalie had invented. She wondered whether he visited the homes of all couples who need help with erectile dysfunction, or just those that buy Levitra online.
With a name like the Amazing Levitra, he certainly wouldn't be one of those young, T-shirt and jeans-wearing magicians that are always cropping up in the society pages and at fancy fashion events with supermodels on their arms.
No, she thought, if anything, the Amazing Levitra is all about spectacle and performing big, big illusions. Disappearing elephants, sawing people in half, levitating limp penises... that sort of thing. No doubt he'd wear a cape and have a big black mustache to boot.
A Magical Delivery
Sara got home a few minutes later, dismayed to see that her Levitra order had not yet arrived. She thought for a moment that it might have been better to have gotten her prescription at the local pharmacy, rather than ordering Levitra online. After all, she probably would have had it by now.
Then she reminded herself that when you buy Levitra online, not only is it cheaper, but it's much less hassle. Besides, she thought, not everyone at the drugstore needs to know that I buy Levitra, least of all Stanley the pharmacist.
Just then, the doorbell rang. This had to be the Levitra order, she thought, bounding down the stairs to the front door. She parted the hallway curtains and saw the delivery truck parked outside.
The delivery man was wearing the typical drab brown uniform with the letters AL stitched into the shirt pocket.
"Here's your Levitra," the man said, handing over a large brown envelope to her.
Sara was mortified. "What are you talking about?" she stammered, praying that her tendency to blush would not betray her.
"Your Levitra. You ordered Levitra online, right? Here it is."
Sara tried to stay composed, and in fact she found something strangely reassuring about the man's face, almost as if she could confide in him. "How do you know what's in here? What if it isn't Levitra?" she asked, tapping on the envelope.
The man handed her his pen and clipboard, indicating where she needed to sign. Then he pointed to the letters on his shirt pocket. "What do you think the letters AL stand for?"
A light suddenly went on in Sara's head. "You mean... it can't be!" she said. "You're the Amazing Levitra?"
"At your service," the man replied, tipping his brown baseball cap. "This is just my day job." He winked at her, and strolled back to his truck, leaving Sara clutching the envelope and hoping that this indeed would be a most magical delivery.
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