Children will mimic you.
They not only mimic your words, but they will mimic your actions. If you want your child to be honest - then don't lie. You don't lie? Have you ever said that your child was 12 years old because a ticket or dinner cost more for a 13 year old? Has a store clerk ever given you extra change and you didn't return it?
Children notice these things. Children are always watching and listening to you whether you think so or not.
If your child steals something from the store and you don't make him return it and confess, you have said that it is okay to steal. If he thinks you don't know and that he 'got away with it,' he may be tempted to do it again and take something more expensive.
If you have a teenager that brings something home that isn't her's, make sure that she returns it. If she says that someone gave it to her, but it is an expensive item, is it really logical that someone gave it to her? Don't accuse your child of stealing unless you have proof. However, you can definitely ask questions. If you suspect that Susie didn't give your daughter that jacket, you can either: 1) Insist she return it, because she shouldn't accept a gift like that. 2) Ask her if you can call Susie's mom to make sure it is okay with her.
When a person is lying, their eyes will look to the left, or dart around, or look down. It is difficult to look someone in the eyes and lie to them.
So how honest should you be with your child?
Even though you should be honest with your children, it doesn't mean that you have to tell them everything. Children should not have to deal with adult problems.
Don't discuss marital and financial problems in front of the children. It is okay to give them a brief explanation when it will help the situation. If Johnny wants a new bike, you can tell him that you cannot afford it right now. You can suggest a time, such as maybe next month, or you could suggest fixing up an old bike for now. A project that you could do with your child would be a good thing.
Don't talk about being behind on the bills in front of your children. A child can become stressed over an adult issue and you may not realize it. A child can hear news about people becoming homeless because of not paying their mortgage. If your son hears you say that you are late on your house payment, he may think that you are going to lose the house and you will all be homeless. He might not tell you that he is worried about it.
If you are ever in a serious situation like this, where you could actually go through foreclosure, be sure to let your child know as soon as possible where you will be moving to and a brief explanation why. Reassure him that you will all be together and get through this, and that things will get better.
In Summary:
We all pick up sayings and habits from our parents. Make sure your child sees and mimics your best sayings and habits. Children also mimic their parents attitude toward life - so may it be a good attitude!
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